The Wing Project

Why Do We Worry? A Therapist’s Perspective

We often think of worry as a flaw, something we should stop doing, push aside, or “get over.” But from a therapeutic perspective, worry is rarely pointless. It is usually a signal.

Worry appears when the mind is trying to protect us from the unknown. It gathers possibilities, imagines outcomes, and attempts to prepare us for danger, even when that danger never arrives. In many ways, worry is the mind’s attempt to care for us, just in a way that often becomes overwhelming.

The problem is not that we worry.
The problem is that our worry can become louder than what is actually happening in the present moment. When worry takes over, we lose connection with reason, calm, and our own inner resources.

In therapy, I often explore these questions with clients:

• What is your worry trying to protect you from?
• Where did you first learn to worry this way?
• Is the voice of your worry truly yours or was it shaped by past experiences?

Many people discover that their worry stems not from weakness, but from old patterns of survival, childhood expectations, fear of being misunderstood, or experiences of instability.

The aim is not to silence worry completely.
The aim is to translate it, to understand its message, sooth its intensity, and gain enough distance to think and choose clearly.

When we give space to our inner world, we begin to realise that worry is not an enemy. It is a part of us longing for reassurance, safety, and understanding. And with the right support, those needs can be met in healthier, gentler ways.

If worry plays a loud role in your life and you’d like to explore it in a compassionate, secure space, I am here to help.